Went on our first vacation together as a couple. We stayed in what's called tent cabins- little canvas tent cabins that look like fancy hovels containing a queen sized bed with a heating mattress pad, a coat hangar, and a basket full of towels and little bottles of shampoo, conditioner and lotion. Our area of about 20 tent cabins was called "Cypress Village," geared towards 1-2 people and no children despite the herds of children that riddled the landscape elsewhere. We also had access to a hot tub and sauna during our camping trip.
Few things to comment on:
1. Saw elephant seals at Ano Nuevo. Elephant seals are one of the ugliest animals I've ever seen. They look like gargantuan, uncircumcised wieners.
2. Saw some dead birds at the otherwise very nice beach across the way from Cypress Village. Hmmmm.
3. Night one: we ate at the fancy restaurant on site. I ordered a giant plate of ribs and Jack ordered the risotto- what can I say, the corpulent couple behind us were eating ribs and the smell of my future was intoxicating. The guy giving us our food was convinced I ordered the risotto and that the ribs were for Jack. He continued to walk past us throughout our meal as I massacred my plate. Night two: we ate at this BBQ thing. Jack got a veggie burger and I got a cheeseburger. The oldie man giving us our food came up to me not once but twice, to comment on how I could possibly eat a huge cheeseburger. Then as we were leaving he waved and winked. You know, the ol' wavey-winky move. Nothing makes me feel more at ease than strangers watching me eat and think Jack is a pussy.
4. My shark kite is a useless piece of shit that refused to go higher than 15 feet. Asshole.
5. I tan beautifully but also unevenly. I literally have a brown nose, more so now than before.
6. I couldn't poo all weekend, once again proving that my bowels are shy of travel.
