Marathon Diarrhea

I diarrhead for EIGHT hours today from 7am till about 3pm! Thought it was food poisoning at first but now I have a fever and aches. I can't go to the hospital to get tested for swine flu unless my symptoms get waaaay worse, or if i'm preggers, have asthma or and a kid. Cool health care system, eh? Seriously, my anus is so raw. I'd drink a sip of water and ten minutes later it'd come shooting out of my fucking ass! I almost pooped my pants twice running to the fucking bathroom!

If this EVER happens to you, eat plain rice. At about 5:30 I farted without worrying about a water-shit explosion. It was the most relieving and joyous fart I've ever had in my life. Why did I wait so long before eating? Because you gotta get that bacteria out of your system! That and my insides felt like someone put it in a blender.